BEAUTIFUL WIVES AND CONSIDERATE HUSBANDS
1 Peter 3:1-7
Key Verse 3:4, 7a
“Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”
“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives…”
Today’s passage is not a general instruction on marriage and family life, as we see in Ephesians 5. It is no mention of love or the relationship between parents and children. Instead, Peter primarily focuses on wives—devoting six verses to them and only one to husbands. Specifically, he speaks to believing wives married to unbelieving husbands. At first glance, applying his instructions today may seem challenging. But when we study it carefully, we find that it is very relevant even to us today. Peter teaches us about the significance of marriage, a woman and a man’s role in the family, and God’s vision for Christian homes. As Christians, we desire to have a strong, beautiful families, yet achieving this is easier said than done. Many struggles with brokenness and pain, leaving them discouraged and hopeless. They long for healing, restoration, and renewed purpose. In this context, Peter’s instruction gives us practical guidance for transformation. He offers hope, calling families to be Christ-centered homes that reflect God’s love and serve the world.
In a world that often prioritizes external beauty, achievements, and self-assertion, God calls us to something greater—an inner beauty that radiates faith, humility, and trust in God. Our key verse reminds us that the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit is precious in God’s sight. This passage is not about suppressing personality but about cultivating a heart that is at peace with God and confident in His plan for us. When our marriages align with God’s order, they become a powerful testimony to His grace, and this brings glory to God.
- Wives adorned with unfading inner beauty (3:1-6)
I believe we need a bit of cultural background of the day in order for us to understand today’s passage a bit better. In the Greco-Roman world, women had limited rights and were expected to follow their husbands’ religion. A wife choosing to follow Jesus instead of her husband’s gods was seen as disrespectful and rebellion. She could have been put to death. This often led to tension, rejection, or even persecution to death. Understanding this, Peter’s message today encouraged them to live out their faith with humility, respect, and godly character, rather than through direct confrontation. His teaching was not about submission out of weakness, but about the power of a Christlike life to influence and win over their husbands.
While society has changed, the principles in today’s passage remain relevant. Christian wives today may not face the same cultural restrictions, but they still encounter challenges in living out their faith within marriage. This passage reminds us that godly character, humility, and trust in God are powerful testimonies. Likewise, husbands are called to love and respect their wives, creating marriages that reflect Christ’s love and grace. May God use today’s message to bring encouragement and decisions to our house churches. Amen.
Let us start by reading verse 1 together. “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives.” By show of hands, who here just loves to submit to others? Probably no one. Peter begins by addressing wives, calling them to submit to their husbands. We notice that it says, “In the same way”. In fact, Peter has been speaking about submission from the previous chapter. 1 Pe 2:13, Peter urged the believers to submit to the human authority and the government. In 2:18, Peter exclaimed that the believers must submit to their masters, not only to those who are good but even to those who are harsh. Then you might say, “Isn’t that a blind submission?” No, it is not. We learned that in 2:13 that this submission is for the Lord’s sake. Yes! It is in accordance of God’s will. And the Lord will bless the obedient and faithful submission of the believing wives. Amen. “In the same way”, which appears also for husbands, means “for the Lord’s sake.”
In modern culture, the word “submission” carries negative connotations of oppression or inferiority. However, the Biblical submission mentioned here is not about being weak or voiceless; rather, it is a voluntary and joyful willingness to respect and support the husband’s leadership in the home. It reflects Christ’s own submission to the Father (Philippians 2:6-8). This submission becomes extra-powerful when wives do NOT try to change their husbands through arguments or persuasion. Instead, Peter encourages them to live out their faith so that their godly behavior itself can become a testimony to Christ’s transforming power. We all know the saying, “Actions speak louder than words.” Even Jesus, though he is God, did not argue with sinners and force us to believe. Instead, he humbled himself and demonstrated his love for us through his sacrificial death on the cross. When we submit ourselves with a humility, faithfulness, and love, we can soften and move others’ hearts. Amen.
Let us read verse 2. “When they see the purity and reverence of your lives.” A Christian wife’s conduct can be marked by purity and reverence. “Purity” refers to moral integrity and faithfulness, while “reverence” speaks of deep respect for God. A wife who walks in holiness and honors God in her daily life is a living witness of the gospel. In a world that often equates value with external beauty or material success, a godly wife’s greatest influence comes from her heart’s devotion to Christ and nothing else. Proverbs 31:30 says, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Amen.
Let us read 3:3 “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes.” Peter does not condemn outward beauty or suggest that women should neglect their appearance. No. Peter knew that God made women to be beautiful and desire beauty. But he warns against making external beauty the focus of a woman’s identity. In today’s society, where physical appearance is idolized through social media and fashion trends, this message is more relevant than ever. True beauty is not found in clothing, jewelry, or hairstyles. One research says that in America, a woman spends about $50K and seven months of time caring for her hair in her life time. That is a lot of money and time! Gold and diamond jewelry are continuing to be sought-after even when the price of gold sky-rocketed to $3K per 1 ounce. This means that many people put much value in these shiny and glittering things. The growth of designer clothing market from the entry level to the very high end brands do not know to cease even in this bad economy. Then what else should we focus and prioritize?
Let us now read our first key verse. Verse 4. “Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of worth in God’s sight.” Amen! In this verse, Peter emphasizes that true beauty is inward, not outward. In the sight of God, a gentle and quiet spirit is of worth. A “gentle and quiet spirit” does not mean a woman should be silent or passive, but rather that she should cultivate a heart of peace, patience, and humility before God. This type of beauty is eternal—it does not fade like physical beauty but grows deeper with time. In contrast to the fleeting standards of worldly beauty, God values a heart that trusts Him, speaks with wisdom, and loves with kindness. I believe our mothers of prayer, without a doubt, are the most suited examples of this verse. Amen! Where in this world could we find such women with such inner beauty, gentle and quiet spirit, and fear of God? We, husbands, are so blessed to have such beautiful women inside and out as our wives. Amen!
In order to encourage believing wives, Peter reminded them of holy women of the past. Verse 5 says, “For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands.” How did these women adorn themselves with inner beauty? “They put their hope in God,” and they submitted to their own husbands. It is common for wives to put their hope in their husbands, thinking their future largely depends on him. However, their future does not depend on their husbands, but on God. God is Almighty and loving and absolutely trustworthy. God is the true source of security and Living Hope. When a believing wife puts her hope in God she can have peace, assurance and confidence. Then she is free to submit to her husband and grow spiritually.
Let us read verses 6a. “like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord.” Peter points to Sarah as an example of a godly wife who obeyed Abraham and even called him her lord. She did this not because Abraham was a man without faults, but because she placed her trust in God. Sarah submitted to Abraham, not out of fear or obligation, but as an act of faith in God’s promises to her. This submission was not about inferiority but about trust, and God honored her obedience. Read verse 6b, “You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.” Believing women become Sarah’s daughters when they do what is right without fear and place their trust in God. However, when we put our hope in God and live by faith, various fears may try to creep into our hearts—fear of failure, loss, an uncertain future, a husband’s mistakes, or even death. But this fear does not come from God; it is the work of the devil. As 2 Timothy 1:7 reminds us, God has not given us a spirit of fear but a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline. When we trust God wholeheartedly, fear loses its grip, and we can walk in His strength and peace.
Behind every great man of God, there is always a wife who, in humble submission, supports him and strengthens his ministry with her faith and devotion. We thank God for the beautiful exemplary lives of our mothers of prayer especially M. Sarah Chung, M. Rebekah Lee, and M. Grace Park who have been living their lives out as living witnesses of Jesus. They have given all their life and youth to serving Jesus’ flock in Korea, America, and the world. For more than 50 years, God has blessed their humble coworking and prayer for the sake of the gospel and the World Mission. And God has made them a blessing and their house church bore many more house churches throughout the world. Praise the Lord! Hallelujah! May God continue to bless them and bless all our faithful mothers in our ministry to devote themselves to the work of God with their humble submission and coworking with their God-fearing husbands. Amen. All our single ladies. Let us pray for our single ladies to focus on their true and unfading inner beauty and keep themselves pure and reverent before God. Then surely, God will bless your marriage, too, in the way that you can not ever imagine. Amen
- Husbands who are understanding and respectful (3:7)
Now, it is husbands’ turn, and it is very short. Let us read verse 7 together, “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” Peter does not address only wives; he gives a clear command to husbands as well. By the way, when it says, “the weaker partner”, it means weaker in physical body, and that’s it. Husbands are to live with their wives in a considerate and understanding way, treating them with respect as co-heirs of the gracious gift of life. This is significant because, remember, the culture of the time viewed women just above slaves. By calling wives “heirs with you (co-heirs) of the gracious gift of life,” Peter elevates women’s dignity and affirms that they are equally valuable before God. At that time, this might have been a shock to many, but it had to be said because it is Biblically correct. A husband’s deep understanding of his wife’s needs, her struggles, her joys creates a foundation for a strong and loving marriage. When a husband honors his wife, the bond between them grows stronger.
Do you know what Paul said in Ephesian 5:25 to the husbands? “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” He tells us husbands to love our wives just as Christ loved the church. Can you imagine how much Christ loved the church? Christ loved the church as much as he sacrificed himself for her. That is not a light and casual love, but a sincere, genuine, and sacrificial love. When we love our wives in this way, we can create an environment of trust and godly unity in our homes. We can even pass this time to our children and our children’s children. Amen
As a husband of M. Mary who is a beautiful woman of God, who has been married for over ten years and blessed with four beautiful children, I once thought I had figured out this thing called “marriage”. However, I have came to realize that marriage is a lifelong journey of learning, embracing, and humbly depending on God. There are times of joy and times of struggle, moments of clarity and times of confusion. Through it all so far, I have learned that I must continually seek God’s mercy and wisdom. A truly successful marriage is not about perfect understanding but about unwavering dependence on God’s guidance and grace. My marriage belongs to God as everything I have belongs to God. I pray that I may offer my marriage and my house church to God so that He can bless it and use it in the way He desires. Amen.
The world often emphasizes external beauty, but God values the heart. Whether in marriage or in our personal walks with Christ, we are called to nurture a gentle and quiet spirit—one that reflects trust, patience, and unwavering faith. Just as Sarah did, we too are called to reflect Christ in our relationships. When we embrace these biblical principles, our marriages thrive, and our lives become a testimony to God’s transforming power. I believe Marriage is a sacred covenant, designed by God to reflect His love and faithfulness. Let us seek to honor Him in our marriages and in all our relationships. Amen